The Callous Daoboys' Maddie Caffrey guides us through their latest release, ‘I Don’t Want To See You In Heaven’, which is set for release on May 16.
I. Collection Of Forgotten Dreams
“Up top here I’m not exactly sure how much I can reveal pre-release so if I get cut off that’s why. This is also the first track and it should really speak for itself or rather our — “
Schizophrenic Legacy
“We had to put this heavy chaotic one right up top so any of yall purists who don’t love the pop stuff can be rest assured that we are still that band.
Also not sure who Carson’s mad at but there’s a hook on this one that’s mean as hell. like mean mean like them old glassjaw songs. (are all of em kinda mean….?)”
Full Moon Guidance
“At this moment I will say, me – maddie speaking – this is my favorite song on the record. Of all the sounds we’ve chased over the years, I particularly love that we’ve captured a bit of an emo-tinged early The Mars Volta— if Carson spoke a little espanol on this one I think they’d send us a C&D.
Maybe my opinion will change later so don’t hold me to it, but if y’all could do me a favor and run this one up a little extra on streaming services so it could stay in the setlists that would be dope thanks.”
Two Headed Trout
“Odds are if you’re reading this you’ve already heard this one or you’re one of those nerds that don’t listen to the singles bc they want to hear the album in full. (if the label tells me our singles flopped im blaming yall) Anyways, some chud YouTube reviewer referred to this song as “paying the bills” and not to be a lion concerning himself with the opinions of sheep— but if you had this absolute moneymaker in the chamber wouldn’t you wanna take a shot?”
Tears On Lambo Leather
“If I said this was a badass nu-metal track that was interrupted by moments of pink pantheress-style chill D&B you’d probably just be like yeah…. that’s just what yall sound like now…. and yeah fair and maybe we’ll do it again later but for now we’ve got this one topped off with a feature from our boy Adam from Orthodox and he sounds scary as fuck!!!!”
Lemon
“This one isn’t so much us “selling out” as it is us beating these dumbass metalcore bands at their own game. We’re on LP3 now— time for a half assed attempt at a pop song right? open chug nonsense with some synths on top and the most uninspired chorus so the radio stations are happy and a overdone breakdown shoe-horned into the bridge so the metalcore fans can still lie to themselves about this being heavy.
That’s not how we do things here. This shit sounds like Sting and it’s actually good and we didn’t even need a breakdown. Go support your local pay to plays and washed up revivals if you’re looking for what I described above.”
Body Horror For Birds
“I can’t write anything funny about this and if there’s any single track that should be a real surprise I think it’s this one.”
The Demon Of Unreality Limping Like A Dog
“Again, if you’re reading this you’ve already heard this one, hopefully you watched the really sick double video we put out with this one and two headed trout— in fact I’m kinda putting the pen down here because I can’t really think of anything snarky to say about this one and it’s already out in the world so you should just go watch that video instead of reading this article.”
Idiot Temptation Force
“In case there’s any dweebs left listening that are like ooouuu owww owwiee i just can’t do all these genres changes — fuck you Japanese city pop moment in the middle of a nasty mathcore track because why not??”
Douchebag Safari
“This one is like if Sonny never left From First To Last and they just let him wub out on the track instead of going solo and changing the shape and sound of modern music for the next decade plus. Okay not really but like kinda……
Also I think this is one of those track names that was originally a demo name and I for sure thought Carson would name this one something else by the time the record was done but I’m glad it stayed because the title really says it all!”
Distracted By The Mona Lisa
“I won’t lie out of the songs on the record this is maybe the only one I was a little nervous about at first. Of all the tricks for us to pull, an easycore major key pop punk song seemed out of the question. We are nearly a decade into this band and it has taken so many twists and turns and the one consistent truth is that we can really do anything. Nothing is has ever felt off limits. I don’t think we would feel this way without having support around us that believes in us as strongly as y’all have over the years— yall give us permission to confidently do exactly what we want, no matter how left field it may be.
For those of yall who didn’t give us permission to put out an easycore song— I promise there are plenty of other moments on the record you will like.”
II. Opt Out
“okay this is like that time when [information redacted]…”
III. Country Song In Reverse
“You get your girl back, your truck back, your dog back….”
Who said we couldn’t write an 11+ minute closing track? I don’t think anyone really said that but it’s a little crazy right? Much like the joker this twisted shit is just normal to us here at the callous daoboys llc. Clocking in at 11:48 this song has everything— a sax solo, a feature from a hometown screamo band, an actual infringement of the The Mars Volta’s copyright, and maybe some other Easter eggs. If this sounds like too much for your meager attention span, go ahead and delete tiktok off your phone and let your brain get back to normal.”
